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Published January 04, 2009, 12:00 AM

Fargo receives C+ … yawn … for restfulness

Happy first Sunday of the New Year. If you’re like me, you took Friday off to ring in 2009 properly – by relaxing.

By: John Lamb, The Forum

Happy first Sunday of the New Year. If you’re like me, you took Friday off to ring in 2009 properly – by relaxing.

Apparently, resting is something Fargo men should have included in New Year’s resolutions.

Men’s Health recently ranked our sluggish city in the middle of the pack, 48 out of 100 “best rested” burgs in the USA. That was good enough for a C+. Madison, Wis., got the most shut-eye (followed by Sioux Falls, S.D.), and Miami was wide awake.


In an article titled “Cities That Need a Nap,” part of the Metro Grades series in which they rate American cities, the magazine rated locations based on the percentages of people who sleep seven hours or less a night; snore or have sleep apnea; have insomnia; take prescription sleeping pills; take nonprescription drugs; and watch TV from midnight to 4 a.m.

(The article also included a gruesome illustration of a sheep, with its tongue hanging out, impaled and bloody on the Empire State Building. That’s an image that won’t help me sleep.)

Not surprisingly, Fargo ranked No. 1 in fewest people staying up late to watch TV.

One can imagine that’s because nothing is on unless you have cable, in which case you are limited to infomercials and Lou Diamond Philips marathons. If traditional late-night fare like “Night of the Lepus,” “It’s Alive,” “Kolchack: The Night Stalker” or commercials for Smoky’s were still aired, there might be a reason to stay up late.

Normally I won’t stand for Fargo being stuck in the middle, but this list isn’t worth topping. We’re not the city that never sleeps, but we don’t want to stay in bed all day.

Besides, how can Madison be the best rested? It’s a big college party town and has an impressive nightlife.

However, I can see why Snooze Fallzzzz is No. 2. If I lived there, I’d hibernate as much a possible.

Actually, F-town and our SoDak sister city are compatible in a number of Metro Grades:

Best for men to live

Fargo – 1; Sioux Falls – 19

Best teeth

Fargo – 9 (5th for dentist visits, 9th for fluoride!); Sioux Falls – 14

Least likely to get shot

Fargo – 2

Sioux Falls – 21

Best for debt and credit

Sioux Falls – 2; Fargo – 5

Least dangerous for skin cancer

Fargo – 10; Sioux Falls – 53

Most in need of vacation

Fargo – 40, bolstered by top 10 ranks in individual qualifiers, like stress (1), commute (3) and blood pressure (10).

Sioux Falls – 81: stress (3), commute (2) and blood pressure (7)

And, surprisingly, where those 240 miles between the two cities makes the biggest difference?

Drunkest cities

Fargo – 5; Sioux Falls – 83

Well, we can’t be too proud of this last one, but I bet we can just sleep it off.
Readers can reach Forum columnist

John Lamb at (701) 241-5533

or jlamb@forumcomm.com