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Published November 19, 2010, 12:00 AM

Annie's Mailbox: Budding adolescents need to be supervised

Dear Annie: My son and daughter-in-law have a 14-year-old son and a well-endowed 12-year-old daughter, and the two of them behave like lovers.

By: Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, INFORUM

Dear Annie: My son and daughter-in-law have a 14-year-old son and a well-endowed 12-year-old daughter, and the two of them behave like lovers. They will sit crammed together in the same chair with their arms wrapped around each other, holding hands with their legs entwined. If he goes outside, she follows. Their bodies are constantly touching each other. They even do this at family gatherings, and their parents seem oblivious.

My granddaughter is usually the one who instigates this behavior, but my grandson goes along with it. My husband and I find it offensive, as does everyone else in the family. We are dreading the upcoming holidays.

My son and his wife both work and are not in the house when these children come home from school, which makes me wonder what goes on when the kids are alone together for hours. My husband doesn’t want to say anything to our son because he fears it will cause a rift. Our daughter-in-law has never liked us and keeps her distance as much as possible. What is your opinion? – Grandparents of Kissing Siblings

Dear Grandparents: Parents need to supervise budding adolescents because their hormones and developing bodies can get them into trouble – even with a sibling. Someone should speak to your son. If you are unwilling to do so, perhaps you could enlist a relative, friend or even one of the children’s school counselors to suggest he pay more attention to his kids.


Dear Annie: When my wife and I were engaged, she bought a house in her name. We married five years ago, and she still has not put my name on our home even though all of my payroll checks are deposited into our joint account from which the mortgage is paid.

I am not after her money or the house, but I wonder what I can do to feel comfortable with this situation. We have three wonderful children, and we own two cars in both of our names, but not the mortgage. She makes more money than I do. Is this why? – Confused

Dear Confused: Have you asked your wife directly about this? Even if your income were not helping to pay for the mortgage, you are a married couple with children and these things should be in both of your names. Some women, out of self-protection, are reluctant to cede sole ownership of their possessions. However, were the situation reversed, she surely would expect you to add her name to the house. Unless your credit history makes you a risk, we suggest you discuss this with her and ask that she explain her reasoning.


Dear Annie: I am writing in response to “Tom,” who met the girl of his dreams at a restaurant and is having difficulty handling rejection from her. He seems to be the victim of unrequited love, something I have experienced more than once. My heart goes out to him.

Rejection is never easy, especially as we get older and see opportunities to find the right person slipping away. Unfortunately, for men, it seems that the person of our dreams is the college cutie who ignored us back in the day. Or maybe we were too busy pursuing an education and missed the chance to date during that time.

As a 43-year-old male, I am adjusting my expectations and desires. There are many wonderful women closer to my age who would make terrific lifelong companions. I hope Tom gets over his desire for this much younger woman and searches for a more mature, yet equally desirable woman to share his life with. – Trey

Dear Trey: We hope so, too.


Dear Annie: Last night, I went out to dinner with my fiance, “Randy,” my father and my future mother-in-law. We were in the middle of making last-minute plans for the wedding when my father dropped the bombshell that he and Randy’s mother have been secretly seeing each other and are now engaged.

Annie, what do I do? Is it OK for me to marry Randy if my father is married to his mother? I love Randy and cannot stand the thought of breaking off my engagement. I need help. – Freaking Out in Florida

Dear Florida: Calm down. If your father marries Randy’s mother, it does not make Randy your brother. He becomes your stepbrother, which is not a blood relation. You can still marry him. Your father’s timing is rather questionable, so ask him to wait until you and Randy are wed before he makes any sudden moves. But everything else is OK.


Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net or write to Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.

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