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Published January 18, 2011, 12:00 AM

What the kids are saying

It turns out, they do say the darnedest things
Out of the mouths of babes come both profundity and hilarity. Under that premise, The Forum recently asked readers to send in their best kid quotes; dozens of parents responded.

Out of the mouths of babes come both profundity and hilarity. Under that premise, The Forum recently asked readers to send in their best kid quotes; dozens of parents responded.

Below is only a portion of the crazy, cute quips that came in. But the collection is funny, poignant and provides a nice commentary on the other side of life.

To read more of the submitted quotes, visit our blog at

kidssaythings.areavoices.com. You can also use the blog to share your own stories. Or e-mail your quotes to smercer@forumcomm.com.

One day when Madison was at grandma’s house, (her twin brother) Jacob was telling a story to grandma, and Madison wanted pop. I guess Jacob must have been talking WAY too long when Madison blurts out with a sassy tone and a roll of the eyes, “TALK, TALK, TALK; I WANT POP!” – Jolene Luehring

My son Isaiah is 4. Recently I asked him to eat some of the vegetables on his plate: carrots, pea pods, cauliflower. A few minutes later he announced, “Mom! I ate ALL of my iPods!” – Lane Bollom

My son Ben Hendricks at age 4: “Look Mommy! I can hang my shirt on a hanger and I can hang my ‘you have to go to church pants,’ too!” – Meg Spielman Peldo

Emily, after seeing Daddy naked: “Daddy has a tattle tail!” – Marie Offutt

When our son was 4 years old, we often frequented the pet store near our house to “visit the pets.” We currently have no pets other than a fish because dogs are too high-maintenance for my child care and my husband is allergic to cats. This sorely disappointed our son, Sam, who exclaimed right in the store, “Dad, maybe when you die, we can get a kitty.” – Katie Brazerol

We were at the doctor’s office as I was sure that Jacob, age 3, had an ear infection. When the doctor was looking in his ears he told the doctor in the most serious voice a 3-year-old can have, “There’s monkeys in there.”

The doctor looked at me and said, “Did he say what I think he said?”

I said “he sure did.”

Then Jacob says in kind of a panicky voice, “We gotta get out of here!”

– Sara Hinrichs

My daughter was 3 1/2, and we were travelling back to Fargo. We planned to stop in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, for one night. The trip got long, and my daughter got whiny. She started saying, “I don’t want to drive anymore! I want to go see the rabbits!” Confused, I asked what she was talking about and she said, “I want to go see the rabbits! You said we were going to go see the rabbits!” That would have been more exciting for her than going to Cedar Rapids, I guess. – Kriste Rehkamp

I was driving home, my daughter Makenna Bessler (above right, with her sister Maddison) in the back seat. Someone in front of me took a left turn without using his blinker. I let out a frustrated groan and said, “Ah, use your blinker!” My daughter said, “What did you say, Mom?” I said, “Ooh sorry. I was just mad at the guy in front of us for not using his blinkers.” To which she said in a confused voice, “You mean he just keeps his eyes open all the time?” – Mindi Bessler

Andrew (above left, with his brother RJ): Did you know the garbage can can talk? Me: It does? What does it say? Andrew: I don’t know. I don’t speak Spanish. – Bethany Colton

RJ (age 9) made supper tonight. While making it he commented, “This is hard.” I laughed and said, “Yes it is. Now imagine doing it seven days a week and having three kids complain when they don’t like it.” RJ laughed and then abruptly stopped and quietly said, “Oh.” – Bethany Colton

My niece Faith said, “At church they say God is everywhere – I’ve looked all over this town and the closest thing I can find is Godfather’s!” – Kerri Kava

When my granddaughter, Sophie, was 5, I was taking her to our house to spend some time with her. She asked me how old I was, and I told her that I was 63 years old. After a pause, she said, “Nana, you’re so old, how come you’re not dead!” I started laughing so hard that I had to pull

over on the road. I said, “Sophie, I think Nana is still alive because God wanted me to stay around and spend time with you.” She redeemed herself by replying, “Oh, Nana, I’m so glad!” – Sue Van Osdel

When my son was 4, when we attended church we always sat in the same pew as an elderly couple – George and Agatha. My son loved George! So when George died, I told my son that when we went to church, George wouldn’t be in the pew with us anymore but instead had gone to heaven. At church, my son looked around and then said to me very loudly: “Where is George?” I whispered back: “Remember? George went to heaven.” I then pointed my finger upward to demonstrate. My son then looked at me in astonishment and blurted out: “George is in the attic?” – Debra Beutler

Our 2-year-old grandson, Dexter, starting drinking his milk and replied, “Call da cops! Milk’s icky!” (We had just purchased this but it was sour!!) – Luanne Lee

Dawson Galde, (age 6) in the car on the way to school: “When I grow up, I’m not going to have kids. I don’t want to get married because it is too hard to find a wife. I’m going to be a ‘dude.’ ” – Amy and Darrin Galde

I was working on building the kids’ toy room and came upstairs for a break. I sighed and said, “Oh boy, daddy is pooped.” My son, Kalvin, said to me with a very sad, disappointed and I-feel-sorry-for-you look and said, “In your pants, daddy?” – Barry Kuhnke

My sister asked my son when he was about 4, if he had chickenpox at day care? “Nope! We had fishsticks!” – Jerilyn Craychee

Carley, while driving by a cemetery and holding her breath: “It’s not polite to breathe around dead people.” – Marie Offutt