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Published March 15, 2011, 12:00 AM

Parenting Perspectives: Scenes from a slumber party

Writing this column every few weeks is therapy. It helps me both celebrate and get through the craziness of raising two young daughters.

Writing this column every few weeks is therapy. It helps me both celebrate and get through the craziness of raising two young daughters.

And it certainly helped me a couple of weeks ago after I gave into my daughter’s insistent begging to let her have a slumber party for her seventh birthday. It turns out keeping a written log of my thoughts helped me get through the longest 14 hours of my life. If nothing else, I figured it might also be a good record for the police.

Here’s what happened:

7 p.m. – They’re here. I hope these other parents don’t realize I have no idea what I’m doing.

7:45 p.m. – OK, so far so good. Dancing in the living room is a hit. But should I tell them we have music other than Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift?

7:46 p.m. – They reject my suggestion to put on “Play That Funky Music White Boy.”

7:47 p.m. – What just happened? Someone stormed off the dance floor. Maybe she wants to listen to ’70s disco funk, too.

7:48 p.m. – I guess not. She’s crying, “Nobody likes me!” How’d she get that from dancing? She’s only 7. That’s too early for PMS, right?

8:25 p.m. – Dancing over. They’re going to the basement playroom.

8:27 p.m. – Terrified screams!

8:28 p.m. – One of the girls claims she saw Bloody Mary. I told them it was just a really scary pile of laundry. That’s actually true.

8:36 p.m. – I guess they believed me about Bloody Mary because they’re all laughing really hard.

8:37 p.m. – Now what? Someone is stomping up the stairs.

8:38 p.m. – “No, don’t go home. I’ll tell the other girls not everyone thinks fart jokes are funny.”

8:39 p.m. – I wonder if we have any Chardonnay.

8:44 p.m. – Is it too early for them to go to bed?

8:45 p.m. – “Girls, how about a movie?”

10:30 p.m. – “Camp Rock 2” is already over? Didn’t I tell you to watch “The Godfather” trilogy?

11:05 p.m. – “OK, girls, good night.”

“No! Mom, will you sleep with us?”

“No.” I’m really not that nice.

“But, what about Bloody Mary?”

11:07 p.m. – Unconvinced by one party guest’s insistence that “Bloody Mary is just something my grandma drinks,” the rest of the girls sweet-talk my husband into sleeping on the couch next to them. Sucker.

7 a.m. – Oh my gosh! Did we make it through the night with no drama? Not sure. My husband looks like he got the stuffing beaten out of him.

7:15 a.m. – Waffles and pancakes consumed in three minutes. Are they seriously turning that music back on and dancing? I guess that happens when no one is hung over.

7:20 a.m. – Taylor Swift again?

7:21 a.m. – Are men going to stop asking Taylor Swift out because of all these nasty songs she writes about them after they break up? I worry. She seems like a nice girl. I better clean the kitchen.

7:22 a.m. – It looks like IHOP blew up in here.

7:30 a.m. – The girls are messing with the music.

7:31 a.m. – “Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk ...” Awesome, they found The Bee Gees!

“Yuck, I think that’s jazz.”

7:31 a.m. – Footsteps …

“Mom, we can’t figure out the iPod. We want ‘Party in the USA.’ ”

“Of course you do.”

“Mom, you can go now.”

“Really, how far?”

9:30 a.m. – Parents start showing up. I see pity in their eyes as they spot the glitter on our floor and the maple syrup in my hair. Nonetheless, I’m feeling good, kind of like one of those marathon runners who loses bodily functions but still makes it to the end of the race. I made it!

9:31 a.m. – Start to plan how I will repay my daughter in the years to come. A ’70s disco funk party in the nursing home? She’s in charge.


Tracy Briggs is a mother of two and is an employee of Forum Communications Co.

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