Time cover draws moms’ ire, acceptanceFor many, the photograph of a sexy blond mother nursing her almost 4-year-old son was provocative enough. But the headline “Are you Mom Enough?” slapped above the current Time Magazine cover story about the latest trends in parenting stung and has sparked a heated debate about the modern relationship between mom and baby.
By: Jessica Yadegaran, Contra Costa Times, INFORUM
For many, the photograph of a sexy blond mother nursing her almost 4-year-old son was provocative enough.
But the headline “Are you Mom Enough?” slapped above the current Time Magazine cover story about the latest trends in parenting stung and has sparked a heated debate about the modern relationship between mom and baby.
The article is burning up chat rooms and mommy blogs. On The Bump, a pregnancy and parenting website, thousands of moms buzzed on the topics of breast-feeding past the first year, children sleeping in the parental bed and wearing baby in a sling – the cornerstones of what’s called “attachment parenting.”
“If they can ask for it and lift up your shirt, it’s time to stop feeding them on the breast,” read a post on The Bump by Elizabeth.
Another poster, Trinity, praises the cover girl. “I would high-five that woman,” she says. “I don’t plan on breast-feeding past one year, but I do know it’s perfectly normal to do so, especially in other cultures. Americans freak out. But hey, that kid’s probably got an immune system of steel!”
While the Time cover is certainly provocative, it’s also somewhat misleading, as the article focuses largely on the life of attachment parenting guru William Sears and the impetus for his 1992 “The Baby Book” book, which has sold 1.5 million copies and celebrates its 20th anniversary this year. The Orange County, Calif., pediatrician believes children are more likely to thrive both physically and emotionally when reared in a child-centered environment that includes breast-feeding long past the first year and sharing a family bed.
But it is that photo of a svelte, beautiful, mother of four pictured with her suckling preschooler and without so much as a centimeter of baby weight that some moms find particularly inflammatory.
“(The cover) is purposefully divisive and rude,” says Janna Lipman Weiss, a 40-year-old Walnut Creek, Calif., mother of two. The former molecular biologist referenced the Sears book during her daughters’ early years, breast-feeding for four and a half years all together. She found other tips helpful, too. Wearing her babies on her back soothed them, she says.
But not everything Sears preaches worked for her.
“My first one didn’t like being touched all the time, so even if I wanted to follow Sears, my daughter wasn’t having it,” Lipman Weiss says. Also, Sears’ suggestion to nurse around the clock and somehow deal with the accompanying bleary-eyed sleeplessness was particularly irksome for her.
“I don’t think my comments about that are appropriate for a family newspaper,” Lipman Weiss says.
Breast-feeding has always been a controversial topic. Questions like “How old is too old?” or “Are you a bad mom if you don’t do it?” have long plagued anxiety-ridden new mothers, says Shannon Guyton, the Los Angeles-based site director for The Bump.
But one thing’s for sure, she says.
“Every mom who’s breast-fed knows that Time photo is not an accurate view of breast-feeding,” she says. “There’s not a single sexy thing about it. You know what your limits are, and you do what you can. Of course you’re mom enough.”