Letter: Dog’s life all about love, babyHi, my name is Georgie Boy. I am the publisher’s dog. Many of you may wonder why I am writing a year-end letter. No offense. I understand. I’m a dog. I have four little paws, but typing really isn’t that hard. Whoever invented spell check is a genius.
By: Georgie Boy, INFORUM
Hi, my name is Georgie Boy. I am the publisher’s dog. Many of you may wonder why I am writing a year-end letter. No offense. I understand. I’m a dog. I have four little paws, but typing really isn’t that hard. Whoever invented spell check is a genius.
As a dog, I have been curious if you humans feel the same way we dogs do about the new year. I spend a great deal of my days thinking about the past and dreaming about my future. Penance also is a huge thing for us dogs. I really do feel bad about the times I took my morning dump on the carpet. But I would like to see Bill go to the bathroom outside. Are you kidding? It is freezing outside. Let alone the privacy thing.
I have been trying for two years to get Webby (the cute wiener dog next door) to notice me. Heck, the first year was wasted because I thought she was a boy dog like me. Hard to tell on some dogs.
As long as I have your attention, let me ask you a few things. First, why do you insist on serving us dog food? That’s right, dog food. Just the name has a negative connotation. Do you serve your family dog food? No. Any type of food you can buy in a 50-pound sack can’t be all that good for you. I mean, really? The same thing every day?
And then just water? Who told you we just drink water? I’m a bit lactose intolerant – sorry about the “ice cream incident.” We won’t be doing that again. But a good imported draft beer tastes good on a hot summer day. Being that my heritage is French – I am part poodle – a good red wine is heaven. I spend days dreaming about a fabulous bowl of cheese and a nice full-bodied Bordeaux.
Enough about food. I don’t want to come across as a complainer. I really like my life. But I hate the mailman. Not sure why. Seems to be a genetic thing. I hate everything about him. The way he comes to our door every day at the same time. And what’s with the blue, little boy shorts in the summer? They really drive me nuts. How about a nice pair of linen long pants? Anyone over age 7 shouldn’t wear little boy shorts. I bark like a German when I see him – shepherd, that is. I don’t want you to think I am prejudiced; not all Germans bark like crazy. Most show their teeth, but they are not all barkers.
As I look back on the year, I have observed a few things about you humans. You seem to spend a great deal of time on stuff that doesn’t matter. Have you ever thought about just spending the day at home? Lying on top of the couch? All day?
One last question: I see you humans so anxious about stuff – always yelling and angry. I make a small mistake on the living room floor and you think it is the end of the world. But you know what? When you come home, I still run up and kiss you. Your wife doesn’t do that. Have you ever heard of unconditional love? That’s what we dogs are all about, baby!
Well, that’s it for now. I think my master is coming home. He hates it when I am on the computer all day. I wish you all a great new year and hope that you take more naps and chase a few more cars. It’s good for the heart.
Georgie Boy lives happily at the Fargo home of Forum Publisher Bill Marcil Jr.