Holt: I’m learning to shrug off ‘fat talk’Lesson learned: Don’t beat yourself up, because there will always be someone willing to do it for you. I’ve written about both positive and negative self-talk, but never before had it come to such an ironic head.
By: Meredith Holt, INFORUM
Lesson learned: Don’t beat yourself up, because there will always be someone willing to do it for you.
I’ve written about both positive and negative self-talk, but never before had it come to such an ironic head.
On Monday, two Facebook trolls posted nasty comments on a screenshot from a “What SheSays” video I participated in (the post has since been removed).
Our topic? An international campaign aiming to end self-deprecating “fat talk.”
One of the comments was, “The more chins the merrier!!” I, clearly, am the woman with the most chins in the video.
Instead of listening to what I had to say, these men, whom I don’t know, took one look and judged me solely based on my appearance.
Getting teased for my weight is nothing new to me, but my scrolling landed on the post when I was already feeling vulnerable, so it hurt more than I expected.
I knew putting myself in the public eye would make me more susceptible to criticism. I considered that when I was debating whether to do a column, and, more recently, video.
My self-deprecating humor will probably always be a part of me, but I work hard not to define myself by my weight, nor should I let others define me by my weight.
There was plenty I wanted to write back (most of it unprintable), but I decided it best not to engage. ’Cuz that’s what they want, right?
I’ve never understood how tearing others down makes bullies feel better about themselves, but I guess it does.
Fat-bashing seems to be one of the last “acceptable” forms of discrimination, and the anonymity of the Googs makes it even easier.
I know I’m by no means alone, either. I think it’s safe to say that anyone who’s overweight – or even at a “normal” weight – has at some point been the target of a weight-related comment, backhanded or otherwise.
After posting about it online, I received an outpouring of love and support from the wonderful people in my life who see me for more than a fat chick in a video to spew filth at.
In the words of the very wise Dr. Seuss, “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
I got angry and vented about it, then I shrugged it off and moved on. I’m sure it’ll happen again, but now I’m better prepared for it.
Any cyberbully can attack a stranger from behind a keyboard, and media types (especially plus-size ones) make easy targets.
But at the end of the day, they have to be them, and I get to be me, and I’m keeping my chin(s) up.
Forum reporter Meredith Holt has lost 105 pounds since May 2010. She will share stories of her weight-loss journey in her column, which runs the first and third Friday of each month in SheSays. Readers can reach her at (701) 241-5590.