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Published February 10, 2014, 12:25 PM

Parenting Perspectives: Acknowledging my life blueprint

I knew I would have a perfect family. I work hard at everything I do, harder than most, I know that. It works for me. Work hard, get results. That method has always given me what I wanted most in life. Why wouldn’t it continue to?

By: Kerri Kava, INFORUM

I knew I would have a perfect family. I work hard at everything I do, harder than most, I know that. It works for me. Work hard, get results. That method has always given me what I wanted most in life. Why wouldn’t it continue to?

In my college years, I was blessed with a support system, but I didn’t come from an overly wealthy family. We always had food on the table, comfortable shoes on our feet and a warm bed to sleep in at night, but surviving my broke college years left no rest for the weary. So through those years of living paycheck to paycheck, often skipping the fun things to work, plus the relentless homework – I knew someday it would all be worth it.

And it was. But isn’t it just like life, to ingeniously keep you guessing. A year ago my life was completely different. If someone told me today how my life would change in a year, I would certainly not have believed it.

Through this brave change and constant keep-you-guessing adventures, it’s opened my eyes to what we really need in life. Society tells you to have children, not child. And by society, I mean everyone.

There is an unwritten law I am certain: “Thou shall not be married, of child-bearing age, with one child and not constantly be questioned about your family’s future.”

I’m guilty of this myself, I get it. I’m a pretty open book, so I rarely mind, but those resonating afterthoughts are what stick with me.

My husband and I have one little boy. Of course, I’m biased, but he truly is nothing short of remarkable. And for quite some time, we’ve been ready to teach him to be a big brother.

But I’ve finally come to realize this might not be part of the plan for us. My child lacks no love. He thinks his cousins are his brothers and sisters. That’s just how close they really are, and as far as I’m concerned, we unquestionably hit the jackpot when it comes to little boys.

Besides, he’s perfectly happy not sharing his marbles or hippo collection with anyone. And I’m perfectly happy pretending to play with them in attempt to teach him to share. Of course his father is better at this. Little boys whine to their mommas – not so much with tough dad.

So from now on, those lies that circle my head of being a mom-failure for not being able to give him an annoying little brother or sister don’t get at me anymore. I’m letting all that go.

From now on, only fun, appreciation and simplicity gets in. We’re happy, and that’s enough for us. Someday, life may give us something more, but until then, we’re counting our blessings and enjoying the unexpected.

Kerri Kava is mom to 6-year-old son Carter, who lives with Williams syndrome. She can be reached at kerrikava18@gmail.com.

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