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Minding Our Elders: Siblings disagree about mom seeking dementia evaluation
Dear Carol: My sister Jean has wanted our mom to see a doctor about memory issues for months but Mom says she’s fine. Jean lives out of town, so she set aside a day to come into town and take Mom to lunch and get Mom’s hair cut. Then, Jean sprung a doctor appointment on Mom and, not surprisingly, Mom refused to go. She and Jean had a fight. I took Mom’s side, which probably didn’t help matters.
RELATED CONTENTMinding Our Elders: Small things important to aging mom
Dear Readers: Like most of us, I grew up hearing that it’s the little things that count. I’m becoming increasingly aware of the truth in the old adage. As I look back this Mother’s Day on my mom’s last year of life, I remember how important the smallest things became to her as time went by.
RELATED CONTENTMinding Our Elders: Not every adult child can be a caregiver
DEAR CAROL: I feel guilty because I don’t want be a caregiver for my elderly mother. I’m an only child, and since my father died she’s come to rely on me more than she needs to.
RELATED CONTENTMinding Our Elders: Elderly mom losing appetite and weight
DEAR CAROL: I’m worried about my mom. She’s 89-years old and has very little appetite. At one time she was quite heavy and ate as much as my dad, but now she says just looking at food fills her up.
RELATED CONTENTMinding Our Elders: Speak respectfully to cognitively impaired parent
DEAR CAROL: My sister, Ann, teaches nursery school several hundred miles away from our home town where I still live. Our mom has dementia and is in a nursing home here. I’m happy to visit Mom often and take care of her needs. Ann handles Mom’s finances, so she is also contributing to mom’s care. We get along well in general, but her occasional visits create tension.
RELATED CONTENTMinding Our Elders: Different dementia types can co-exist
DEAR CAROL: I’m confused about my husband’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis. He was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease three years ago, but now we are told he is showing Parkinson’s symptoms. The doctor talks to all of us like we should know everything about dementia and Parkinson’s, and our questions just seem to annoy him.
RELATED CONTENTMinding Our Elders: Mayo Clinic book offers advice on integrated medicine
DEAR READERS: While traditional health care saves lives and cures many illnesses, prescription drugs and many surgeries also have risks and limitations. Because of this knowledge, or simply out of the need to take a more active role in their healthcare and that of their elders, many people are using the Internet and other resources to research historic, alternative methods of preventing or controlling illness and pain.
RELATED CONTENTMinding Our Elders: Husband won’t accept wife’s help caring for his mother 
DEAR CAROL: After my mother-in-law had a stroke, she developed mild dementia. My husband and I were able to take care of her needs until recently, but because of her deteriorating health she has been admitted to a facility near our home.
RELATED CONTENTMinding Our Elders: Caregiver worries she’s not doing enough for mom
DEAR CAROL: I love my mother and have tried to be a good caregiver to her during her battle with cancer, which is in remission, and now with her lung and joint problems. She’s just 78-years-old and seems to be letting life go on without any enjoyment.
RELATED CONTENTMinding Our Elders: I’m suddenly a caregiver, now how do I start?
Dear Carol: Like many boomers, I’ve suddenly become a caregiver. I live in my parents’ community but have a demanding job and a family. My parents were doing well until Dad had a stroke.
RELATED CONTENTColumns
Bursack: Make peace with father who takes mom’s abuse
Dear Carol: My mother has end-stage lung cancer and Alzheimer’s. She’s in a hospice program at home. She can be quite aggressive at times, and usually my father is the target. Over the years, he has taken on the personality of a battered husband.
RELATED CONTENTBursack: Celebrate Father’s Day in your own special way
Dear Readers: Though my dad has been physically gone from my life for a number of years, he stays with me in spirit.
RELATED CONTENTBursack: Hospice goal is dignity, less pain at end of life
Dear Carol: What exactly is hospice care? What can I expect?
RELATED CONTENTBursack: Arranging a family meeting
Dear Carol: My mother-in-law has dementia and I was her full-time caregiver for eight years, with some help from her son, who is my husband.
RELATED CONTENTBursack: Mothers come in many guises
Dear Readers: Today we celebrate mothers. Many women will be honored with special meals, cards and gifts given by their biological or adopted children, often with the loving help of their adult children’s spouses. Women who are mothers will also be honoring their own mom.
RELATED CONTENTBursack: Moving could hurt mother
Dear Carol: My mother is 95 years old, and in good health other than some short-term memory loss.
RELATED CONTENTBursack: Appetite, nutrition for elders a concern
Dear Carol: Is it safe, or even helpful, to add powdered supplements to my grandfather’s food to help him gain weight?
RELATED CONTENTBursack: Mom thinks daughter is stealing
Dear Carol: My 88-year-old mother still lives independently, but has recently developed some paranoia. It’s mostly centered on me, as I’m the family member who is with her the most. She misplaces objects and then accuses me of stealing what she can’t find.
RELATED CONTENTBursack: Caregiver’s vacation offers good medicine
Dear Carol: I’ve been the primary caregiver for my dad for years. He’s now in assisted living and is doing well, though he still depends on me to do many things for him, including setting up his medications.
RELATED CONTENTBursack: Ombudsman can advise on options for mother
Dear Carol: My mother’s been in an assisted-living facility for five years. She still likes living there, though she is having more health problems lately, so it’s been a struggle for me to get her to her clinic appointments and keep up with the medical care she needs.
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