CAROL BRADLEY BURSACK

Minding Our Elders: Kids urge father to hire help in caring for mom

DEAR CAROL: My mother is in the middle stage of Alzheimer’s. Dad is her primary caregiver, and it’s wearing him out. He can’t sleep because she doesn’t sleep. He’s worried about her wandering even though the house is secure. My siblings and I try to help, but we are all out of town and have jobs and families. Dad refuses to consider putting Mom in assisted living, yet he can’t continue life as he’s living it, either. We’re all worried sick that he’ll have a stroke or something while he’s trying to provide all of Mom’s care. How do we convince him to do things differently?

By Carol Bradley Bursack , November 26, 2012

Minding Our Elders: Humor essential therapy even with Alzheimer’s

DEAR CAROL: My grandfather has Alzheimer’s disease, so my mom shows me your column a lot. I love Gramps and would never want to hurt him, but sometimes he says and does things that are funny, even though he can’t help it.

By Carol Bradley Bursack , November 17, 2012

Minding Our Elders: Recently widowed mother shows signs of dementia

How do you gently begin to supervise a parent’s health? Our mother is widowed now and 74 years old. She took care of our dad who had dementia and she seemed to do okay for awhile after he died. But now she frequently forgets her medications doubles them up, which she has admitted, and she frequently mixes up names and places.

By Carol Bradley Bursack , November 10, 2012

Minding Our Elders: How do we tell mom we’re selling her home?

Mom’s adjusting well to her new environment, but she still wants to go home periodically. We are having a problem deciding on how to tell her that it’s time to sell her home of over 50 years. We’ve always been upfront and honest with Mom, so we feel we must tell her the truth. Eventually, she’ll need the money from the home sale to pay for her care. Any advice on how to address this would be appreciated. – Sandy

By Carol Bradley Bursack , November 03, 2012

Minding Our Elders: Mother’s cognitive changes frustrating

Dear Carol: My mother’s dementia is taking a toll on both of us. There are times when she doesn’t understand what is happening around her, so she gets angry, calls me names and even accuses me of stealing. Other times, she seems very clear, but those times are almost worse for me because she says things like “Just give me something to end this.” Five minutes later, she’s back to being mad at me or anyone else near her. I don’t know which extreme is harder to cope with. Isn’t there a way to find some middle ground with this disease? – Jan

By Carol Bradley Bursack , October 27, 2012

Minding Our Elders: Lactose intolerance can sneak up on seniors

DEAR READERS: Several years ago, I used this space to highlight lactose intolerance, an issue many older adults face. Due to some recent questions, I felt it was time, once again, to share some anecdotes regarding this sometimes hidden problem.

By Carol Bradley Bursack , October 20, 2012

Minding Our Elders: Helping aging parents from a distance is challenging

DEAR CAROL: I live 500 miles away from my aging parents. They are starting to need some help, but they don’t want to move to be near me. My husband and I can’t quit our jobs and move back to our home town, either. How do I go about looking for help for Mom and Dad from so far away?

By Carol Bradley Bursack , October 13, 2012

Minding Our Elders: Father thrown into dementia following surgery

DEAR CAROL: I found your name while doing an Internet search following my father’s surgery. He is 79-years-old and because of a painful back problem, he agreed to have surgery. That was a month ago. Since the surgery he’s been in full-blown dementia.

By Carol Bradley Bursack , October 06, 2012

Bursack: Eye exams offer important window to general health

DEAR CAROL: My 62-year-old mother went to her optometrist for her yearly eye exam. During the exam, her doctor said she was developing cataracts that would eventually need to be removed, though not for awhile. That wasn’t a surprise. He also said she that she should see her primary doctor as soon as possible because he saw evidence of a heart-related problem.

By Carol Bradley Bursack , September 29, 2012

Minding Our Elders: Time to examine Medicare Plans

Whether for yourself or to assist your parents or other elders, it’s time to review Medicare options if you want to make changes from the 2012 policies. Medicare annual open enrollment begins Oct. 15 with new benefit choices taking place Jan. 2013.

By Carol Bradley Bursack , September 22, 2012

Bursack: Daughter worries about father’s sexual aggression

DEAR CAROL: My father is in a nursing home because of Alzheimer’s disease. He’s become sexually aggressive and often grabs at the aides’ bodies. I get so embarrassed when I see that. The nurses say it’s his dementia and that he’s not unusual, but I wish there was something we could do to stop this embarrassing behavior.

By Carol Bradley Bursack , September 15, 2012

Minding Our Elders: Hygiene problem could be caused by depression

DEAR CAROL: My mom always had pride in her appearance. Even as she’s aged and grown quite heavy she’s liked nice clothes and has always been clean. Now she isn’t interested in her clothes and won’t even bathe unless we nag her. She doesn’t like to go out with friends, either, and she used to be very social.

By Carol Bradley Bursack , September 08, 2012

Minding Our Elders: Education needed to understand Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s

DEAR CAROL: My father-in-law was diagnosed several months ago with both Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s disease. We’ve had him living with us for two weeks now, and I have to say that my compassion has gone way up just watching what he is going through. He’s hard to hear and very unsteady, which frustrates my husband’s siblings. They think if their dad would exercise and eat more he’d be better. It’s like they blame him for being sick. What can I do to get his own children to be more understanding?

By Carol Bradley Bursack , September 01, 2012

Bursack: Caregiver’s own health is often neglected

DEAR CAROL: My elderly parents have two or three medical appointments every week and I am the only person who is willing to take them. The result of this is that I don’t go to the doctor myself.

By Carol Bradley Bursack , August 26, 2012

Minding Our Elders: Mother becomes disoriented returning home from day care

DEAR CAROL: My 79-year-old mother has mid-stage dementia. She lives with us but goes to adult day care every afternoon, which she enjoys. The problem is, when she gets home she’s forgotten where the bathroom and her bedroom are.

By Carol Bradley Bursack , August 18, 2012