Say it ain't so, Salem Sue. North Dakota's world's largest Holstein cow was defaced and defiled by a petty group of vandals earlier this week in New Salem along Interstate 94. The perpetrators scribbled their names and a few rude comments on the poor bovine's lower rear anatomy causing New Salemites to shudder at the graffitied udder. Meanwhile, headline writers rejoiced with the gift of easy wordplay. I confess that even I was tempted to milk the situation with a clever bon mot. But of course, I declined the impulse.
I'm stymied in my search for an obscure North Dakota law, and I need help. My hunch is that there's a state statute proclaiming mandatory annual broadcast and newspaper stories about the drinking at WE Fest. This year there was even controversy about successful beer vendors being unfair to other successful beer vendors. The stories implied that businesses that sell alcohol are only in it for the money. Yes, I'm as shocked as you are to learn that!
Did you feel as inadequate as I did reading The Forum story about the 13-year-old Illinois girl who's heading to college? The remarkable student will enroll as a freshman in an all-women's institution by skipping the end of middle school, and bypassing high school. That kid has done what I was only able to dream about, and that includes the part about being accepted at an all-women's institution. (I'm still fairly certain my dating life might have improved had I done so).