Dear Annie: My roommate, "Trish," and I are good friends, and we are both attending the same college. Last spring, her boyfriend spent a lot of time at our apartment. He stayed overnight several times, which made me uncomfortable. I spoke with both of them about it and offered to spend one night a week at my parents' house so they could have the apartment to themselves. Trish agreed, but her boyfriend didn't. He continued to hang out at the apartment even when she wasn't there and liked to walk around in his underwear without a shirt.
The boyfriend left for the summer and came back two weeks ago. Today, he came by the apartment and lounged in the living room with his shirt up and his pants unzipped.
He doesn't respect my roommate or me, and I'm tired of being ignored. Trish is a dear friend, but I'm ready to move out. I don't want to hurt her feelings, so is there any way I can make him listen to me? - No More Patience
Dear No More: No. He has no interest in listening to you, and if Trish has asked him to be more respectful (we doubt it), he doesn't listen to her, either. Tell Trish you are so sorry, but the situation has become intolerable and you are moving out.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Tuxless in Bettendorf, La.," whose father refuses to wear a tux at his daughter's wedding.
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Back in the 1970s, my dad picked me up at the airport for my brother's wedding. En route home, he stopped at a bargain store and found a tan polyester suit. The morning of the wedding, Mom held out the tux she had rented, only to hear Dad growl that there was no way he was going to put on that monkey suit. A little while later, he came out of the bedroom in his brand-new polyester suit, which actually looked very nice. The colors even went well with the wedding party.
On the other hand, the father of the bride showed up in a dark green leisure suit he could barely get into, topped off with an orange tie that was way too short. By comparison, Dad looked debonair.
If compromising on the tux gets Dad down the aisle, it's worth it. - N.D. Sister of the Groom
Dear Sister: Yes, and the bride will be thrilled Dad isn't wearing a green leisure suit and orange tie.
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net or write to Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.
