FARGO – Lanelle Vasichek panicked when the liquor store clerk asked what she’d be eating with her wine.
The new mom tried think of something elegant but “corn dogs” – the truth – tumbled out of her mouth instead.
Embarrassed, she grabbed the two nearest bottles of wine, paid and raced out the door. Sure, wine with corn dogs wasn’t a gourmet pairing, but it made a regular day feel special. It was a mommy milestone.
The 42-year-old Fargo woman remembers the day vividly from nine years ago and shares it and other everyday mom triumphs in her first book, “Celebrate the Mommy Milestones.”
“If you’re having macaroni and cheese and corn dogs, break out the nice dishes and glassware. Don’t wait for occasions like only anniversaries,” Vasichek says. “It’s about those days in between other huge moments that make up our whole journey. Feel good about what you’re already doing.”
Covering everything from post-birth body awkwardness to her first solo outing as a new mom, Vasichek chronicles her messy, emotional and joyous first year of motherhood.
She’ll speak at the On the Minds of Moms Live event Saturday in Fargo.
Q: Why did you write the book?
A: I kept a journal during my son’s first year of life and wrote notes in my daughter’s baby book. I realized that the messages were all about me and what I was experiencing at that time, too.
I was paying attention to all the baby milestones but some of those are my milestones, too. Moms go through some hard times. That’s how it started.
I’m not a mom expert, and I’m never going to say, “Here’s how you do this.”
I just hope people enjoy it and laugh. People will learn motherhood’s not always perfect or Facebook-worthy. But real life is your life, and there are things to enjoy and celebrate.
Q: What do you hope moms learn from reading your book?
A: I want them to learn how to have their “best day ever.” It’s not about a trip to Disneyland or a birthday celebration. If you can find those moments to celebrate in the everyday, anybody can live their life better. It’s not just about moms.
There are times that are kind of smelly and not always glamorous, but if you can find ways to celebrate and feel good about them, you can have a lot more fun.
Q: What’s been one of your strangest motherhood moments?
A: There are so many times in motherhood where you’re like “Are you kidding me?”
Nursing in particular was an interesting situation. You’re not in control of your body. It’s strange.
Q: What’s one of your proudest mommy milestones?
A: When I see my kids find their own strengths. It’s about those moments, when they find confidence.
Q: What’s your best advice for new moms?
A: When you’re getting advice from everyone, do what you feel is best deep down.
Relax.
If it feels good for you, that’s the exact thing you should do. We need to give moms a break.
And moms, don’t worry if your child wants to wear pajamas all day or their socks don’t match. Let ‘em.
Q: What will you talk about at the On the Minds of Moms event?
A: I’ll talk about how to find your best day ever mommy moments in life, so it will appeal to moms and even non-moms.
Every day is about the baby and if we could just make the mom feel more special, that would be awesome. It makes me sad to hear about moms who feel inadequate. I think we set such unattainable expectations because we see it on TV or social media.
I want people to find a reason to celebrate every day.
Q: Tell me about your website and blog.
A: People can submit their stories and milestones, and I want it to be a community of moms online so they don’t feel alone.
I want to make it feel like a spot moms can go and feel supported. I think it’s going to be a hard shift for moms to not just think about their kids.
It’s OK to take some time for yourself. You have to.
I also want to encourage people to celebrate their “Mommaversary,” the day their child was born. I’m going to make cards for that, so we celebrate not only the child’s birthday but honor the mom, too. We should give her a card to say this was a big day for you, and I recognize that.
‘Celebrate the Mommy Milestones’
ADVERTISEMENT
- Lanelle Vasichek’s book is available at Evereve, located in West Acres mall, and SHANNALEE, 313 Broadway, Fargo. It is also sold online at www.amazon.com and www.mommymilestones.com.
- You can connect with Vasichek at her website or at www.facebook.com/mommymilestones .
IF YOU GO
WHAT: On the Minds of Moms Live, including speaker Lanelle Vasichek, author of “Celebrate the Mommy Milestones”
WHEN: 1 to 9 p.m. Saturday
WHERE: Radisson Hotel, 201 5th St. N., Fargo
INFO: Tickets are $125. To purchase, visit
www.onthemindsofmoms.com/otmomlive-registration
.
ONLINE:
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
