FARGO-Carly Simon's song "You're So Vain" has been on repeat in my head lately.
And I blame my selfie stick.
You haven't posted a #selfie on social media yet? Where have you been? A selfie is a photo you take of yourself (and your friends sometimes) with a smartphone to show the world that hey, you look pretty good/you're doing something cool.
But the problem with most selfies is we can't extend our arms as far as needed. I have long arms, so it's not so much a problem. But sometimes I could use the boost.
Enter the Pocket Click Stick. Despite the name, it doesn't fit in my pocket, but maybe my jeans are too tight.
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The "selfie stick" is compatible with most smartphones and extends from about 6.5 inches to 25 inches. The creators, thumbsUp!, say it's "designed to ease the strain of taking selfies." Yes, selfie taking is incredibly stressful.
The first time I tried it, I attempted to put my iPhone 5s vertically into the phone holder. No go. The phone has to be horizontal and you must use the front-facing camera, which has a lower photo quality (1.2 megapixels for the iPhone 5) than the main camera (8 megapixels). I was expecting the selfie stick to work with the actual camera, but I guess that doesn't make much sense.
A connecting cable from the stick plugs into the phone's headphone jack so the camera can be controlled by a button on the end of the stick. There's no battery or Bluetooth connection required, but the camera button has to be pushed relatively hard and it's difficult to keep the stick still while taking a photo.
I wasn't impressed with the quality of my selfies, but I'm not a talented selfie-taker, either. I cut off my head multiple times, and the front-facing camera is terrible in low-light conditions, although it works well when light is bright.
My cat, Eva, wasn't into the selfie stick.
I took one decent selfie outside in pretty morning light, but I felt totally silly doing it.
I surprised my friend Ali's baby girl, Georgiana, when I positioned the selfie stick in front of us, but she still managed to look ridiculously cute. Note: Take selfies with babies. They will always look adorable.
I snapped some group selfies with friends, but the low light made us all appear very fuzzy. Or was that the champagne?
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And let's talk about how embarrassing it was to whip out the selfie stick in public. I tried to find the least public places to take my selfies because I felt like an extremely vain person or a tourist in my own city. But I shouldn't have. I was having fun and who cares what other people think? I shouldn't.
I would use the selfie stick on vacation for sure. Sometimes, you can't take a proper photo of yourself and the Golden Gate Bridge without the help of a 25-inch selfie stick.
I'd throw my self-consciousness to the wind in Europe, too. I saw many, many tourists use the selfie stick on my trips to Europe, so I'd totally blend in. Hi, Eiffel Tower selfie! Your phone could be stolen if you trust a stranger to take a photo, so really, the selfie stick is a travel safety precaution.
After my week of selfies, I oddly feel a little bolder (and relieved that it's over). As long as you don't go overboard posting multiple selfies a day, I think people like seeing faces on social media. It shows personality and feels exciting to be proud of how you look.
We're all beautiful, so why not share our special style with the world? The only rule is to own what you post. Work it.
I won't be carrying the selfie stick in my purse anymore, but I'll leave it in my car, just in case.
For the record, you're not so vain, you just look and feel good today.
Now, let's take a selfie.
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