Morast: Freddy treatment may benefit Lutz
Kellan Lutz is going to die this weekend. It will happen while he sleeps. The death will be gruesome bordering on disturbing. Millions of people will watch it happen. And he will be murdered by a man whose face looks like melted wax. This disturb...
Kellan Lutz is going to die this weekend.
It will happen while he sleeps. The death will be gruesome bordering on disturbing. Millions of people will watch it happen. And he will be murdered by a man whose face looks like melted wax.
This disturbing turn of events will be celebrated by many people who suddenly feel a sense of pride for the North Dakota native whose rippled abs and beguiling smile have made him a Hollywood hunk-in-training.
For all you lusting over Lutz, don't sweat. He's not going to really die this weekend. But the actor who's stretching his resume past the "Twilight" oeuvre will perish on movie screens this weekend as a character in the "Nightmare on Elm Street" remake.
And it will be a good thing.
Because for an actor trying to get some exposure, being killed by Freddy Krueger - the resident psychopath of "Elm Street" - is the kind of thing that could spark life in your career.
Johnny Depp spent time on Elm Street. So did Patricia Arquette. And Laurence Fishburne. They might not have survived their respective dates with Krueger, but dancing with his glove-o'-knives didn't seem to hurt their careers.
This doesn't mean Lutz will become a lovable pirate, see dead people or wear a trench coat and offer blue and red pills to random people. But paired with his surging modeling career - check out Lutz's Calvin Klein ads, if you dare - spending a little time on "Elm Street" seems certain to boost the former Dickinson resident's Q rating.
And that's why North Dakota needs to honor him.
Because in a state where celebrities are as common as palm trees, Lutz is becoming a favorite son for the upcoming generation of Nodak pop-culture addicts.
So let's treat him right and name something after him. Perhaps, a power plant.
If you're not into facts about North Dakota power plants, all you need to know is that some of them are named after our state's power people; for example, the one near Center is named after former politico Milton R. Young.
Lutz isn't the political powerbroker Young was, but he has broader appeal and might actually be able to bring sexy back to energy.
Coincidentally, there's a proposed power plant to be built near South Heart, which is very close to Lutz's former home of Dickinson.
So let's do it. Let's get Lutz's name on this future power plant. Hopefully this happens before he dies, for real.
Readers can reach Forum Features Editor Robert Morast at (701) 241-5518 or firstname.lastname@example.org