“Spring has sprung; the grass has riz;

I wonder where all the people is?”



That poetic question is posed by Don Ellingson, Moorhead, in a note to "Neighbors." But then he answers it; they’re staying home because of COVID-19.

And that leads to a tongue-in-cheek email Don received from Clark Tufte, Fargo, which he passed along to “Neighbors.” Here it is:

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Points to ponder these days:

  1. I hope they give us two weeks’ notice before sending us back out into the real world. I think we’ll all need the time to become ourselves again. And by “ourselves,” I mean to lose 10 pounds and cut our hair.

  2. My new monthly budget these days: gas, $0; entertainment, $0; clothes, $0; groceries, $2,799.

  3. Breaking news: Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended. Not so much to stop COVID-19, but to stop eating.

  4. When this quarantine is over, let’s not tell some people.

  5. I stepped on my scale this morning. It said, “Please practice social distancing ... only one person at a time on the scale.”

  6. Not to brag, but I haven’t been late to anything in more than six weeks.

  7. You know those car commercials where there’s the only one vehicle on the road; doesn’t seem so unrealistic these days.

  8. The spread of COVID-19 is based on two things: (1) How dense the population is; (2) How dense the population is.

  9. Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask and ask for money.

  10. OK, so the schools are closed. So do we drop the kids off at the teacher’s house or what?

  11. Coronavirus has turned us all into dogs. We wander around the house looking for food. We get told “no” if we get too close to strangers, and we get excited about going for walks and car rides.

  12. The dumbest thing I’ve ever bought was a 2020 planner.

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If you have an item of interest for this column, mail it to Neighbors, The Forum, Box 2020, Fargo, ND 58107, fax it to 701-241-5487 or email blind@forumcomm.com.