The Trivial 10
EAST LONGMEADOW, Mass. - The makers of Trivial Pursuit have announced most trivial moments of the year in honor of National Trivia Day Jan. 4.
1. Ashlee Simpson "Sings" on SNL - Didn't anyone tell her the name of the show is Saturday Night LIVE?
2. "Bennifer" Ends, "Bennifer 2" Begins - Affleck swaps Lopez for Garner ... America shudders at the thought of any Affleck sequel.
3. The Dean Scream - Howard Dean (above) may not be president, but he's got our vote for lead role in "Hulk 2."
4. The Great "Wardrobe Malfunction" - TiVo owners use super slow-motion replay for "further review."
5. Britney Spears and Her Two Weddings - Her second marriage breaks personal best: lasts more than 55 hours.
6. The "15 Minutes" of William Hung - "She Bangs"...her head against a wall every time this man sings.
7. "OMA-ROSA!" - Need we say more about "The Apprentice's" bad girl? We could, but we're a little scared.
8. The Nick & Jessica Variety Hour - Somehow, they made us miss Sonny & Cher. Somehow.
9. Martha Stewart Makes the Jailhouse Jam - Elvis only made the jailhouse rock.
10. '04-'05 NHL Season Cancelled Due to Strike - Who knew?
New touchdown taunts
With post-season football gearing up, here's some suggestions for novel ways those showboating pros can celebrate a touchdown:
- Run to local church, convert to Catholicism, then run back to end zone and make the sign of the cross.
- Write "paragon of athletic achievement" in the air with his hand.
- Shimmy up goalpost, refuse to come back down.
- Jog victory laps around referee.
- Calmly pull football apart at the seams.
- Dump cooler of Gatorade on himself.
- Enter press box, write article praising his performance.
- Take out cell phone hidden in padding on goalpost, call up fire department, and tell them there's a man on fire at the stadium. He adds, "It's me! Get it? Get it?!"
- Break dance in attempt to outdo celebrating member of other team.
Not coming to a newspaper near you
Comic strips that never caught on:
"The Katzenjammer Fortysomethings"
"Ennui is ..."
"Calvin and Hobbes and Hegel"
"Dennis the Honor Student"
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Today's best bet
Sleigh rides, 2-5 p.m.
Hjemkomst Center, Moorhead