Looking at the up side

Long before she was clinically diagnosed, Julie Kottsick knew what was coming.

Her symptoms of continued weakness in her left arm and slowed motor skills led her to one answer - amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, better known as Lou Gehrig's disease.

Although the symptoms were present for a year beforehand, doctors did not officially diagnose the disease until December.

It was news that flipped her life upside down.

At the time, she was sales director of the Fargo Holiday Inn and involved with several community committees and groups.

But after the diagnosis, as fatigue and deteriorating mobility began to plague her, she was forced to cut back from her busy life.

Starting in January, Kottsick decided to work 24 hours a week.

"By the time that month was over I knew that that was still going to be too much," she said.

Now she works two five-hour days each week.

The change has given her two children - Evan, 8, and Carly, 5 - a stay-at-home mom. It's something they wouldn't have without the debilitating disease.

"I never would have cut back and stayed at home with my kids," she said. "Not because I didn't want to, but I've always been a working mom."

That is one of the blessings of the disease, Kottsick said.

She and her husband, Bud, are focused on how the disease is affecting the kids.

"They know that mom has a sickness that isn't going to get better," she said.

ALS affects motor neurons, the nerve cells that communicate with muscles in the arms and legs as well as assist in swallowing and breathing. The disease causes the cells to die, eventually causing paralysis and respiratory problems.

Weakness started in Kottsick's left arm. It now affects her right arm and left leg.

Kottsick takes Rilutec, the one FDA-approved drug that has been shown to modestly prolong survival. And she is involved in a clinical trial for Myotrophin, which may delay the onset of weakness.

But there is no cure for ALS.

"Until they know what causes it, they're going to be hard-pressed to find out how to cure it," Kottsick said.

With Kottsick's 37th birthday approaching, her friends and co-workers wanted to give her a chance to celebrate with the people she doesn't see as much. But they also wanted to raise money for the medical costs Kottsick will have as the disease progresses.

The two ideas combined for a birthday benefit and silent auction scheduled Friday at the Fargo Holiday Inn.

"All my friends have really rallied behind me," Kottsick said. "Something like this really pulls you together."

Cheryl Wold, who works with Kottsick, said the goal to raise was $10,000 when they started organizing the event.

Just making Kottsick's split-level house accessible to her will require that much, Wold said.

Benefit tickets are available at the front desk of the Fargo Holiday Inn until Tuesday.

Tickets are $30 for adults and $10 for children.

Kottsick is excited to spend time with those she doesn't get a chance to see anymore.

"It's been fun having something so positive to look forward to," she said.

Kristi Ulrich, general manager of the Moorhead Center Mall, is organizing the silent auction. Items to be bid on total more than $12,000 - everything from quilts to Lasik eye surgery.

Ulrich participated in the F-M Chamber of Commerce Ambassadors with Kottsick. She said Kottsick continues to have a positive attitude.

"She has always been very exuberant and positive in all aspects of life," Ulrich said.

While negative thoughts do come, Kottsick has developed ways to curb self-pity. One of them is an Internet blog.

"I'm a really positive person, and when I had lots of negative thoughts or fears with this, I decided to have this space on the Internet where I could put that and then let it go," she said.

Kottsick also has what she refers to as a "poor me file." It contains e-mails and cards she has received since her diagnosis.

"When I start feeling really sorry for myself, I pull it out and reread all the cards and e-mails I've gotten over the past year and think about how amazingly blessed I am with all this support," Kottsick said.

Readers can reach Forum reporter Barbara Raus at (701) 235-7311