FARGO - The typical offender is the "nice guy," an instructor told about 75 North Dakota State University students who gathered Wednesday for a mandatory sexual violence prevention training.
He's confident, attractive, flatters women, she told them. But he also objectifies women, pushes alcohol on them and forces sex on them without their consent.
"And that's when a crime has occurred," said Ashley Hertwig, a fifth-year pharmacy student and one of NDSU's eight violence prevention educators.
Hertwig was speaking at the final session of "We Take a Stand," a 90-minute required course for freshmen and new transfer students that's now in its second year. Students learn the definitions of sexual assault and consent, elements of stalking, forms of relationship abuse, and how bystanders can prevent sexual violence, among other topics.
Nationwide, colleges and universities were required to bolster their training in sexual violence prevention after a federal mandate went into effect July 1.
ADVERTISEMENT
To comply with the Violence Against Women Reauthorization Act of 2013, Minnesota State University Moorhead and Concordia College launched online programs this fall, and the University of North Dakota launched an online program last year.
Most cover the same topics as the NDSU class, such as what qualifies as consent, how to identify abusive behavior, how to intervene as a bystander and how to support a victim.
Experts often cite the statistic that one in five women on a college campus is sexually assaulted, and in Fargo, that proportion is higher. A 2011 survey revealed 24 percent of NDSU students, mostly female, had experienced sexual violence during their time on campus.
"That's too high," Kelsey Keimig, NDSU assistant director of sexual assault prevention and advocacy, told the students. "It's unacceptable."
Consent was at the heart of the discussion Keimig and Hertwig led. They talked about ways to identify nonverbal consent, the importance of an enthusiastic "yes," who is unable to give consent, and what it means to have consent at every step.
"Just because someone wants to kiss you doesn't mean they necessarily want to take their clothes off," Hertwig said.
Many students come to the session with limited knowledge of concepts such as consent, and they walk away giving "overwhelmingly positive" feedback, Keimig said.
"I've had cards that have said things to the effect of, 'I now have a better understanding of my relationship,' which of course, it's sad, but it's also really great to know that students are getting that information and reflecting on that information," she said.
ADVERTISEMENT
Two freshmen said Wednesday they're glad the seminar is required.
"You've got so many new people coming in to college, and I think they all have the big college party theme in their head and they all want to do stuff like that," said Ryan Morff, 18. "It's good to have this as a reminder to know the signs of when something isn't consensual."
Nicole Mendoza said it's especially important for students in their first year.
"I've talked to a lot of upperclassmen, and they say it's the year of trying to impress everyone," the 18-year-old said. "But trying to impress everyone, you can also see the insecurity in it. That's why we need something like this, to tell them not only are they worth it but to be smart."
