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Trip from hellDuhamel finds life's no beach

Think of "Turistas" as a hunting experience, where the prey are those delicate, pink-skinned, swimsuit-clad creatures known as gringos. These pretty specimens - male and female, and always young - emerge from their stateside trust-fund warrens to...

Think of "Turistas" as a hunting experience, where the prey are those delicate, pink-skinned, swimsuit-clad creatures known as gringos. These pretty specimens - male and female, and always young - emerge from their stateside trust-fund warrens to venture into exotic locales, such as Brazil. After leaving a trail of discarded shot glasses, credit card receipts, beer bottles and condoms, they move on to the next thrill-acious "cultural experience." Mostly semiconscious during their sojourns, they like to capture images of their journeys abroad on cell phones, to be posted for eternity on MySpace.

Ah, but this time, Children of Privilege, the trip to the land of the Copa might not be so much fun. Angry eyes are watching. And those honey-brown hands won't just be slicing limes for your caipirinhas.

Cue Samba music and fiendish laughter.

"Turistas," produced by Twentieth Century Fox's fledgling "teen centric" Fox Atomic division, seems to be chasing the box-office lucre that filled the coffers of Lionsgate -- the studio that created the grisly "Saw" franchise. But this horror flick-cum-travelogue seems confused about its purpose.

Minot, N.D., native JoshDuhamel - and star of NBC's "Las Vegas" - makes his second stab at the big screen following "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!" Fellow small screen stars Melissa George and Olivia Wilde join Duhamel's Alex as damsels in distress.

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On the one hand, it's an oglefest of young things on the beach, as they preen, chug and splash in azure waters; on the other, it's a slice-a-rama that turns those nubile bodies into crimson sushi. The one agenda opposes -- rather than complements -- the other. Horror fans will twitch impatiently at those long stretches between killings. And audiences anticipating a feature-length "Girls Gone Wild" video will suffer withdrawal from the lack of loosened bra straps.

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