Palmer Forness "would probably not consider himself a 'minister;' but I think he is."
So writes Patricia Murray-Kerian, Fargo, in her reaction to a December Neighbors column about Palmer, the former firefighter who portrayed Santa Claus at West Acres in Fargo for years.
Seeing Palmer's picture brought tears, Pat writes, because it brought memories of a wonderful night years ago; a night when Palmer ministered more than he realized to a Fargo family in pain.
"You see," Pat writes, "the things we really wanted for Christmas of 1990 were not to be had - healing for our son Stephen and more time with him."
Yes, the Christmas decorations have all but disappeared for another year. But before the spirit of that wondrous season entirely fades, let's let Pat take us back to that night when, she says, God provided comfort through a man called Palmer.
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Pat and her husband Larry's family, that Christmas of 1990, consisted of three boys: Jeff, who was 6, and twins Alex and Stephen, 3.
About a year earlier, Pat and Larry had received terrible news; Stephen was diagnosed with a malfunction of the brain stem that controls the cardiac and respiratory functions. Because of its location, it was inoperable, and it was terminal.
The family, in its grief, was grateful for its support team, which included their friends and the pastors and members of Hope Lutheran Church.
They also deeply appreciated the care and concern of Stephen's physician, Galen Eash, who referred them to hospice, which helped as only it can, with Carolyn Schauer as Stephen's primary nurse, and to Make A Wish, which received a simple request from the family: a visit from Santa.
But not just any Santa: He had to be the one the boys had visited at West Acres and the one Larry and Pat had read about "who seemed to understand what Christmas was really about," Pat says.
Make A Wish, as it usually does, delivered.
Bells and cookies
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'Twasn't the night before Christmas, but the week after Thanksgiving when the family heard the sound of sleigh bells, then a knock on the door. And there was Santa.
The family invited him in, Pat says, "and we feasted on cookies and hot chocolate (though I think Santa drank coffee) in front of the fire in the fireplace and we had Christmas carols playing in the background. It did not take long for the boys to warm up to Santa, and soon they were crawling all over him.
"He was kind of a casual, approachable, realistic Santa. I recall the conversation was not of the usual North Pole activities, but rather about activities, school, life and families.
"As a firefighter," Pat says, "I am sure Mr. Forness has dealt with quite a few families in a crisis. We were a family in crisis, and this kind, gentle, humble man graciously gave of himself and his time."
After an almost magical hour, Santa left. But even though Larry and Pat had requested no gifts, he left one: a bell from a horse harness from Palmer's childhood, with a red ribbon tied around it.
The family still has that bell, and it still has the memories of that night that was so meaningful. Because about six weeks later, Stephen died.
God's provision
Today, Jeff is 22, lives in Fargo and works for Unisys. Stephen's twin brother, Alex, 19, is considering a career in aeronautical engineering. Now he's with the Air National Guard in Duluth, Minn., and will begin basic training in February at San Antonio, then take technical training in avionics in Gulfport, Miss.
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Pat, meanwhile, says yes, seeing Palmer's picture in the paper made her weep. But at the same time, she felt gratitude to God for His "provision for us in a time of crisis in the former of a very special Santa - but isn't that what Christmas is all about, God's provision for us?
"Since that Christmas, we have come to understand that most of God's blessings come to us in a way and time that we least expect.
"We are comforted that Stephen is now healed and with God and other family members who have gone before."
And, she adds, she hopes Forum readers, reading this story, "will understand the depth and character of this man (Palmer) and how one hour of his time had such a huge impact on our family."
If you have an item of interest for this column, mail it to Neighbors, The Forum, Box 2020, Fargo, N.D. 58107; fax it to 241-5487; or e-mail blind@forumcomm.com
