There is a saying…friends are the family we get to pick. Ask any girl and she’ll agree and tell you zillions of stories about her various friends. The best part about friends is that each one comes with a unique personality, but still has something you can associate with. Let’s be honest, without the companionship of our friends there would be several more mental health days in "Momville." So here are the types of mom friends you might want to consider in your momtourage.
The 911, 'ICE'
Solid and reliable with her cell phone always stuck to her hip, the "in case of emergency", or "ICE" for short, friend will be your lifesaver. Whether it's a mental meltdown, a babysitter bailout, a clothing crisis that requires her to take the lead on a last-minute shopping spree, she is there for you and your family. Lock her in as an emergency contact and you have nothing to worry about. Hear her siren ring.
The mad investigator who reads all the latest studies on child development, the most highly recommended potty-seat, can rattle off a list of foods highest in antioxidants and is up to the speed of the best skin care products. Never mind her uncanny ability to make a fabulous derby ball custom out of an oversized shirt adorned with a hardware store chain. Without question a mini-Martha.
The one you secretly hate (not really) because she oozes with cuteness, but she also inspires you to find and drag out that woman behind the mom. She brings to light that even though you’re a busy working mom it’s not an excuse to be a frump. Despite her work and family obligations, she’s always put together. The queen of handbags and the first to model a pair of jeggings. You swear she has a seasonal pass to the pedi and mani bar because she never has a jagged nail or chipped polish. She is a hot mama!
Admit it, it's true. Even superheroes need a rival to keep them on their toes. So do moms. Chances are your frenemy is always one step ahead of you. Her house is bigger and cleaner, her kids are smarter and dressed to the nines and her skin has had more chemical peels than an orange. But that's okay because your frenemy forces you to focus on what's really important in your life and make it better. Maybe you've lost the skin elasticity battle, but you’re winning the hair highlighting game. Don’t keep score.
The crazy character who’s a hoot and a half and at any given minute can bring you to tears and dang near cause you to pee your pants from laughter. Her hilarious stories of a school project disaster, leaky breast episode or baby barf worn as an accessory, make her one-of-a-kind. Sometimes, motherhood is not that funny, but a LOL friend always seems to make you giggle. The 308 funny text messages you share monthly prove it. (Thank you “unlimited” texting option.)
Always makes you feel as if you are the guest of honor. When you’re determined to throw yourself a pity-party, she’s there ordering you to ditch the big bag of M&M’s and fat pants, for a night of people watching and embarrassing karaoke. She has a real knack to revive your spirit and reminds you that there is life outside the laundry room. Rock On!
She’s the one who’ll fill you in on all the important or not so important gossip. From pointless celebrity news, to who’s dating who, to which couple is separating, to the latest “bun-in-the-oven” update, she’s a regular Entertainment Tonight reporter. More times than not she is usually the mom of an active daughter, who knows everything going on at school. From homework to weekend parties, the ear-to-the-ground friend is a go-to resource. For those of you moms who live outside the circle of information (and by that, I mean the boy moms), any source for what is happening is always welcomed.
Your brother, your cubicle-mate, or forever college friend, he tells you what life is like on the other side of the gender divide. It’s a generalization, of course, but on the whole, guys make it easier to pick up the friendship where you left off and simply hang out without rehashing the drama of the past. Oh, and he can help you unravel the mysteries of your significant other’s odd behavior or quirky habits and annoyances? Dude is like a lady.
Kind of a mix between a sister and a soul-mate. She understands your state of mind without needing to spell out the obvious. She’s the one you can share your deepest thoughts and secrets without the fear of them ending up on Facebook. She never judges you when you confess you had cereal and wine for dinner or that your Tupperware closet is trying to kill you. She’s the one you talk endlessly with about how you're both going to lose those pregnancy pounds [6 years later] and she totally understand your weakness for Dirty Dancing, Hope Floats, Top Gun, repeats of Golden Girls, and how the occasional Rock of Love episodes are essential to your well-being. The TRUE forever friend!
We all might be lucky enough to have a connection or special bond with one or more types of these friends, but the real reward is not making friends, but rather keeping them. Friendship is a two-way street. Take a minute to give thought to your all-star, mom-friend line up, then make an effort [soon] to share with them the friendship role they play for you and how much you value their friendship. For me, each of these friends is precious and rare….and you know who you are.
Editor’s note: Story was written by Dani Parkos Fluge and originally published in the April/May 2019 issue of the On The Minds of Moms magazine. Forum Communications Company is re-publishing these stories as On the Minds of Moms staff members develop a new online community.