In 1987, "Fatal Attraction" was a massive hit. I have seen short pieces of the movie, as you can still flip by a cable channel and find it on. The movie is about a happily married New York City attorney who engages in a one-night stand while his wife and child are away. The woman refuses to end the affair and subsequently goes border-line psychotic as she terrorizes the attorney and his family.
Glen Close played the role of the sexy single gal who had the affair with the married man. In an interview in 2007, Glen Close said "That movie struck a very raw nerve. Feminists hated the movie and that was shocking to me. They felt they'd been betrayed because I was a single, working woman who was supposed to be the source of all evil. But now Alex (her character) is considered a heroine. Men still come up to me and say, 'You scared the s**t outta me.' Sometimes they say, 'You saved my marriage.' "
Fear is not always a bad thing. Fear can keep us within healthy boundaries.
Rather than fatal attraction, what would faithful attraction include? First, I will ask, why would you date someone that you know you shouldn't marry? That would be like having severe asthma and being critically allergic to dust and hay and going to a rodeo hoping you don't have a reaction. Why would you risk such a dangerous scenario so you can attend a rodeo? In dating, why would you play with fire with the second most important decision you will ever make, the person you marry?
In the first two chapters of Song of Songs in the Bible you will find at least four qualities that will help you build a faithful attraction. The first one is Godly character. In our society we worship the external appearance. It is unfortunate that we focus so little time on our character and on the character of those around us. Godly character is the foundation that every marriage must have. A great marriage isn't so much about finding the right person as it is about becoming the right person. Who you are is who you will attract.
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The second quality is growing trust. As a relationship develops you will began to reveal your insecurities. If you don't, that tells me there are trust issues within you or within the relationship. When you do reveal your insecurities, if you feel worse afterwards, that is a warning sign that this relationship is not heading in the right direction.
The third quality is higher standards. If you want what everyone else has, do what everyone else does. I don't want, nor do I want my children, to have what everyone else has. Ok, so divorce rates are on the decline as more couples live together and break up before they are married. But, is that a less emotionally and relationally painful scenario? Let's continue this discussion next Sunday. God bless you. See you then!
Hauser is founding and senior pastor, Prairie Heights of Fargo Moorhead. Email jon@prairieheights.com
