Brickner: Today, I might not have made it out alive

Years ago, in a Detroit suburb, I went to a dinner party. I’d brought a dessert, but decided it needed whipped cream. When I returned from the store, I was unsure, in the dark, which house. They all looked identical, cars crowded. I walked up to the door, pushed it open, finding it a little tight at first.

I found a family of four staring at me in that frozen moment, with me holding a can of Reddi-Wip. I apologized, and quickly left for the house next door.

Today, I might not have made it out alive. I mean, I didn’t even ring the doorbell.

Recently, we find several instances of trigger-happy homeowners who believe, “Shoot first, ask questions later.” Too many guns. Our country is saturated like no other country. On top of the mass shootings at schools, banks and malls, these knee-jerk incidents threaten our sense of community. Make our responses cold and fearful.

I’ve seen it before.

A 16-year-old scholar and clarinetist, Ralph Yarl, went to the wrong address at about 10 p.m. to pick up his brothers. He rang the doorbell and was shot through the door. After he fell to the ground, the homeowner then shot him again. Doctors still don’t know how he survived.

In Upstate New York, friends were dropping off Kaylin Gillis, 20, at a friend’s house. When they realized they were at the wrong house, they turned to leave when the homeowner came outside and shot Gillis dead. No one had even gotten out of the car. Her boyfriend said, “My world was taken from me Saturday.”

A father and his 6-year-old daughter were shot when their basketball rolled into a neighbor’s lawn. A six-year-old. A basketball.

In 1974, when Detroit recorded 714 murders, I became indifferent: “OK, what’s the weather forecast?” Like a war zone, you only cared if you knew the victim or the case was incredible, like when a man entered a nursery and shot his own daughter to avoid child support.

It’s hard, even impossible, to grieve over hundreds or thousands. But can we pause, take a breath before taking a shot? Can we care, especially if the victim was innocent?

The 84-year-old man who shot Yarl claimed to be “scared to death” by a doorbell, rung by a Black teen; race was a factor. The 65-year-old who killed Gillis showed no remorse.

We have justifiers like former Vice President Mike Pence who said, "I don't know the facts of those cases, … But I can't help but suspect that this recent spate of tragedies is evidence of the fear that so many Americans are feeling about the crime wave besetting this country.” Doorbell. Car in the driveway. Basketball. Shoot.

Conservative commentator (and gun owner) David French was targeted with death threats, his family tailed by angry Trump supporters. He wrote, "Gun rights carry with them grave responsibilities. They do not liberate you to intimidate. They must not empower your hate…. Every hair-trigger use, every angry or fearful or foolish decision, is likely to spill innocent blood."

Cancel culture takes a darker step. A mistake, a minor disagreement leads to violence.

I’m glad when I opened that door, over 25 years ago, no gunshot waited for me on the other side. A mistake remained only a mistake.

Interested in a broad range of issues, including social and faith issues, Brickner serves as a regular contributor to the Forum’s opinion page. She is a retired English instructor, having taught in Michigan and Minnesota.

This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Forum's editorial board nor Forum ownership.