Three ag-related jokes you might enjoy
We could all use a good laugh to start out the new year.
Agriculture isn't a topic that seems to generate many jokes. That's probably a good thing — we certainly don't want agriculturalists to be the butt of jokes — but a little more humor in ag might be beneficial. With that in mind, I'll pass along three ag-related jokes I've heard, as well as a bit of background and brief comments on each.
'We found your wallet'
A farmer combined a barley field and trucked the grain to his local elevator, which sent it off by rail. For his part, the farmer discovered he'd lost his wallet.
About a month later, the farmer received a phone call from a beer company employee. "We want you to know we found your wallet in a load of grain at one of our malt plants," the employee said.
"Well, yeah, I grow barley and, yeah, my wallet probably slipped into a truck load I took to town. So thanks, I really appreciate you letting me know," the farmer said. "But the thing is, I sold all my barley for feed."
Background: Most barley is sold as malt, used for beer, or feed, fed to livestock. The malt sales price is much higher. So the joke insinuates that the system conspired against the poor farmer and underpaid him for his grain.
My thoughts: At least the beer company guy is helpful and friendly. Question for some elevator-savvy reader. Would the local elevator's screening process have uncovered the wallet in the barley?
What's truly important
This one isn't really about ag, but I heard it at a farm show and it plays well in farm circles.
It's 2036 and America has just elected its first female president. She's a North Dakota native whose very modest parents still live in the state. After much effort, she persuades them to attend her inauguration.
It's Inauguration Day and the parents are on the podium watching her being sworn into office. Then the proud father leans over and says to the U.S. senator sitting next to him, "See that woman with her hand on the Bible? Well, she has two brothers who played football for the Bison!"
Backgound: The North Dakota State University Bison have an outstanding football program. The joke allows fans of rival schools, especially the University of North Dakota Fighting Hawks, to zing the Bison and their loyal fans.
My thoughts: I'm not a grad of either NDSU or UND, and I'm strictly neutral in their rivalry. Also, the joke is versatile and can be retooled to take friendly shots at rival schools and sports programs throughout the region. For example, UND has an outstanding hockey program. So the punchline could be, "She has two brothers who played hockey for the Fighting Hawks."
A fun pun
It's said there are two kinds of people in this world: Those who like puns and those who don't. I'm definitely among the former, as are many Agweek readers.
Have you heard USDA's big new announcement? Well, it just banned the sale of shredded cheese. It wants to make America grate again.
Background: This is of course a play on former President Donald Trump's slogan to "Make America Great Again."
My thoughts: Years ago I passed along the pun on an Agweek social media site, The strong response was almost all positive, though one Trump supporter said it was disrespectful to him. Well, it's just a pun, and a good one.
Please drop me a line with any ag-related jokes you may know. No sexism, racism or bad language accepted — a restriction with which regular readers of this column will happily comply.
Jonathan Knutson is a former Agweek reporter. He grew up on a farm and spent his career covering agriculture. He can be reached at email@example.com.