Just recently, the Forum published a story pertaining to a socialist group in Fargo who have formed a softball team hoping to gain membership and enlighten the people of our community about the wonders of socialism. The socialist spokesperson quoted by The Forum makes it clear that the history of socialism is never discussed among those under the age of 20 because the Cold War, Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, Fidel, Maduro and Hitler present a kind of Socialism that is really quite different from what they are proposing. It seems that they are counting on those who are too young to recall the old socialism’s history where hundreds of millions perished. They want believers and participants in the new socialism, which they understand is the answer to all the ills of the world.

The fact that this group is forming a softball team may seem a bit paradoxical to some, for any athletic endeavor such as a game of softball requires that someone wins and someone loses. Unfortunately, softball isn’t as socialistic as it should be for winning and losing is evil. Winning is demeaning to the losers and that makes the losers resentful and gives a false sense of superiority to the winners. That in and of itself can not and should not be tolerated. Remember socialism seeks uniformity in all. It is sometimes called fairness. The informed socialist leaders (they make the rules) will bring wrath on those who don’t understand that basic principle. With that in mind, it is understandable that changes to the game of softball must be made.

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What seems even more paradoxical is that the equipment utilized by softball players such as bats, gloves, uniforms, etc. are produced by corporations such as Rawlings, Spalding, Wilson, McGregor, Nike, etc. Socialists know that corporations are the root of all evil in the world. I hear known socialist leader Bernie Sanders pronounce that fact daily. Remember that corporations exploit humanity for profit and profit is evil. Furthermore, there are those heartless shareholders who willingly purchase stock for personal gain in the evil exploitative corporations. It is hard to believe how evil some people are. The Socialist organizers must find a way to acquire the soft ball equipment for game play by donations from socialist sources other than the capitalist manufacturers. I am told, for example, that North Korean bats are the best.

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Now in an attempt to envision a Socialist softball team and game in action, I’ve had to stretch my imagination to the breaking point. I’ve concluded that for a game of softball to be truly socialist would require that no one wins or loses. So, all games would be required to end in a tie no matter how many innings were played. If one team were to be awarded a trophy the opposing team would too be rewarded a trophy. (Excuse me for using the word opposing. That is an evil word for it implies conflict.) If one team has a home run hitter and the other doesn’t, the team with the home run hitter would be required to share that player with the other team probably on an every other inning basis. Such sacrifices must be made in name of equality and fairness. New guidelines would come into play for every superior kind of player on a team. A fast base runner would be shared. A superior pitcher would be shared etc. I hope you capitalists out there get the picture.

Finally, just think of how much better our world would be if we could only rid society of winners and losers, of profit and loss, of fairness and unfairness, of self-motivation and thinking. That is what this softball team represents. I think those forming this new socialist softball team are truly on the right path. Now, if they can only rid our community of the evil capitalists it’ll be game on.