In a letter published Sept. 21 online and Sept. 22 in print, Shaun Moser attempted to explain to readers of The Forum that allowing Muslims and immigrants into North Dakota is equivalent to turning the state into a "dumpster fire." But the root cause of North Dakota's scourge does not lie within the hearts of people seeking refuge from conflict-torn areas of the world, but instead can be found on every road and driveway within our state.
I am talking, of course, of our hideous license plates.
Moser claims that the immigrants moving into North Dakota "refuse to assimilate, refuse to adopt American beliefs," such as North Dakota's apparent belief that a license plate should be as attractive as a crusty dog turd in the grass.
The people of North Dakota should spend less time worrying about our immigration policies and more time worrying about how unrealistic the landscape on our license plates are. While Moser may be scared that the purebred children of North Dakota are being exposed to new belief systems by classmates from other cultures, I am terrified that a child may look at our plates and have no idea how the heck a sunset affects the night sky.
However, I am glad that our government approved a license plate that accurately displays how North Dakota became the flat grasslands that we see today. Moser is confused in believing that German and Scandinavian immigrants came together and built our state out of puzzle pieces, when the truth is that a Godzilla-sized bison once roamed the land, flattening the ground with its hooves. While I have no scientific or historical evidence to back this claim, in my heart-of-hearts I know it to be true and I will bite my thumb in the direction of anyone who tells me otherwise!
If Moser were not wearing his own "Islamic headgear" backwards, he would have noticed that the people of our state are not screaming to shut down Lutheran Social Services, but are instead yelling in horror at the unseemly license plates that we are allowing to besmirch our great state.
I, for one, cannot tolerate the sight of even one more of them.
Kjos lives in Fargo.