Greetings from a male millennial right here in Fargo, Forum readers! Yup, that’s the ticket, I’m a millennial living right here in the Red River Valley of the North. What? Millennials wouldn’t say “that’s the ticket.” Well, this one would, and does. In fact, saying it makes me “on fleek.” That’s the ticket, “on fleek.”
In fact, I’m “sorry, not sorry,” if you don’t believe me. “I can’t even,” if you don’t trust me on this. “TBH," I’ve been a millennial for most of my life, which means I was born anywhere between 1981 - 1996. Yes, I’m 22 – 37 years old and my “Bae” is a millennial, too. In fact, our joint “FOMO” has us on the social media a ton. Like the Facebooks, and the Twitters. Although, I’m switching to the Chat Snaps, as I hear it is "Gucci.”
What I am not is a tired old baby boomer, aged 54-72, looking all around me, and saying, what the heck happened? This isn’t how we were going to change the world. No, I’m a “thirsty” millennial, who needs to get my tail in gear (oops, I mean “it’s me,” but not how I would say it) to help the Gen Xers, who are working hard to do their part, many in charge these days, but still need help to wrestle things away from the old farts, and really make things “slap.” Just saying. Don’t think the older boomers are “slaying it.” “ICYMI,” boomers who are actually topping out have waaaaay too much say in what’s going on. Don’t mind them still in the workforce. Probably helps. But, time they move over on the big gigs.
So, “check this.” Here’s who’s running the country. President – old fart (WOAT). Speaker of the House – old fart. Senate Majority Leader – old fart. Senate Minority Leader – old fart. And, I’m “literally woke” to what’s going on here. Nothing! And, we’ve got the “receipts” to prove it. I love “Merica,” but something’s gotta change. ‘Cause, guess who may be running for president next time? Old fart, old fart, old fart.
“Bruh,” cable news stations are “scoping” things that are actually scary to watch. Not to “humble brag,” but I notice things, and it’s time for millennials to “break the internet” on this. It’s “cray” beyond belief, and we can really make a difference. OK, for the most part, we showed in greater numbers in the mid-terms, but 2020 is coming on fast. How about we all vote? Yaas! That’s the ticket (oops). This is where everyone gets “salty” with us. Time to do some “adulting” on this.
Hmmmm. Starting to sound like a tired old boomer doing a little preaching, here. OK. You probably couldn’t tell, “said no one ever,” but, I’m not a millennial! And, I have no freaking idea what all those words I just used mean. Yup, an old fart boomer who is fortunate to hang with so many talented millennials. And, basically, just really looking for a little help here. Please?