There's an unwelcome, widening gulf between people that is causing distress. What's with America? What is it? The coarsening of society? The argument culture? Perhaps emotional homelessness fits. That description implies it is mine. It is yours. It is ours, collectively. A kind of unmoored soul writ large. A culture adrift, fearful, alienated, dispossessed of expectations. Is it real? At a recent conference in Canada someone asked me 'what's up with you guys? We used to look at you as our stable, reliable southern neighbor. Not anymore!'
Here are the some recent sentiments from The Forum: Letter to the editor published Oct. 27: "We're as divided a nation as we've ever been... Somewhere in the noise, we lost our way." A Sept. 11 USA Today story: "Many Americans yearn for more unity yet struggle with how to get there in a world of partisan politics, off-putting social media interactions, blustering pundits and aggressive media coverage of even trivial issues...." A March 27 column by Gina Barreca: "In our conversations, whether political, public or private, we seem to be increasingly belligerent, uncivil and unrelenting, determined to crush the opposition rather than listen to the other side."
It's been called a national personality splintered. The fracturing of community. Our wounded humanity.
The heart of the matter is consciousness, and our intention around consciousness. That may sound vague but it is deceptively simple.
We can do better. Transformation is linguistic; our language must move from blaming and deficiencies to our shared gifts; to what we wish to build and create. From fear that divides to engagement with one another in ways that build social capital. It's being done. Google Peter Pula, Peggy Holman, Peter Block.
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We have a cultural addiction to speed and quick answers. In order to speed up, we must first slow down and engage one another with questions of depth, using peer-to-peer interaction. Conversations that matter are people in dialogue, in the right context, with the "tools" of questions that can effectively create space for building relatedness- the "better angels of our nature."
Town halls, lectures and panels lack transformative power and too often cement the status quo. Perhaps the worldview that has dominated our version of reality is no longer suited for the (seeming) intransigent problems we now encounter. What emergent cosmology awaits? Was it Einstein who said that we cannot solve our problems with the same consciousness from which they emanated?
Politicians are impotent. Finger-pointing is the preferred political expediency. Our hope for a leader to deliver us to the safety of the promised land is our own projection, an illusion of a benign, safe patriarchy.
No one is coming to save you. (Oh I know, your politician is different!)
The real leaders are the ones who can take responsibility, embrace our shared humanity, and act on the power of their own agency in creative choice that benefits the common good. A grown-up chooses to believe that 'I am creating the world around me, even the one I inherited.'
It is an antidote to blame, and reclaims our own power. It may be the ultimate creative act, and it marks the starting point for transformation.
As Margaret Mead said, "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world: indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."
Nyquist lives in Moorhead.
